


Deepest desires of idiotic teammates

by Bl4ckHunter



Category: Arrow (TV 2012), Lucifer (TV)
Genre: Confessions, Humor, Idiotic teammates, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-27
Updated: 2020-05-27
Packaged: 2021-03-02 17:42:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 826
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24410749
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bl4ckHunter/pseuds/Bl4ckHunter
Summary: One-shot story. Crack fic. Oliver's idiotic teammates are seduced by Lucifer to confess their deepest desires.
Kudos: 19





	Deepest desires of idiotic teammates

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Aragorn_II_Elessar](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aragorn_II_Elessar/gifts), [Stand_with_Ward_and_Queen](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stand_with_Ward_and_Queen/gifts), [Phillipe363](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Phillipe363/gifts).



> I got this from a conversation with Aragorn II Elessar and I'll be honest, Lucifer is probably among the best TV series that I have ever seen.
> 
> Takes place in Season 7.
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own Arrowverse or Lucifer.

_**District Attorney's office, Star City** _

Dinah was in the District Attorney's office, talking with Earth-2 Laurel about protecting her, when Lucifer entered, knocking on the door. "Excuse me. I'm looking for Captain Dinah Drake and Laurel Lance."

"We're here but right now we're busy, could you please wait?" Laurel said.

"Actually, I'd like to see what kind of hot, charming, Siren and Canary do we have here." Lucifer smirked, eying both women shamelessly, much to Dinah's and Laurel's disgust.

Dinah raised her hands and neared Lucifer. "Sir, I'm going to have to ask you to leave before—"

"I haven't introduced myself." Lucifer kissed Dinah's hand. "Lucifer Morningstar, at your service."

"Mr. Morningstar, I'm afraid you need to leave before—"

"Oh, what's the fuss, Captain? Why don't you tell Miss Lance how do you feel?" Lucifer smirked as Dinah met his eyes, feeling some aura coming from him she couldn't explain, succumbing to his charm as he gave her a look that seemed to put her into some kind of a trance as she was succumbing to his charm. "Tell me, Miss Drake, what is it that you desire?"

"I…" Dinah stopped, unable to resist his aura. "I… I want Laurel to pay for what she did."

"What?" Laurel demanded.

"She killed Vince, she joined Cayden James and Diaz, almost ruined the city and yet she takes the original Laurel's identity and assumes it as her own, which is the greatest crime she ever did. And I want her to suffer for what she had done." Dinah said, unable to stop herself, a hint of anger in his voice and Lucifer looked into Laurel, who seethed, fuming with rage.

"That is good. That is good." Lucifer nodded, holding Dinah by her shoulder. "Now, I'm sure you would want nothing more than to smear the floor with Laurel's blood, do you?"

"You have no idea…" Dinah admitted and behind her Laurel clenched her fists.

"Even though despite that Vincent was a serial killer, who murdered dozens of criminals, regardless of collateral damage and getting innocent people caught into crossfire, which is even worse than what Laurel had done! Excellent!" Lucifer clapped his hands and left, waving his hand. "The Siren and Canary better have fun wrecking the place. See ya!"

Dinah slowly turned to Laurel awkwardly as the look Laurel gave Dinah was chilling and as Lucifer walked downstairs, he heard loud screaming and smashing, laughing in amusement at creating more chaos.

* * *

_**A.R.G.U.S.** _

Lyla, Diggle and Curtis were in her office in A.R.G.U.S. before Lucifer entered. "Well, well, the kind-hearted director, the hypocritical idiot vigilante and the moronic technician."

"Who are you? How did you get in—"

"Lucifer Morningstar, Devil from Hell, nice to meet you." Lucifer smirked. "Well, I see you're about to venture on this brand new mission and I'm certain Miss Michaels desires only to protect innocent people but let's see about Mr. Diggle and Mr. Holt. Now tell me…" He met Diggle's and Curtis's eyes and smirked. "…what is it that you two desire that you work here in A.R.G.U.S. Tell me."

Diggle and Curtis stared, their jaws hanging for a few moments, succumbing to the vibe they couldn't explain before Diggle spoke up first.

"I want to be a better vigilante than Oliver. No. A head of A.R.G.U.S. Under my command, we'd become efficient than ever, even if it meant crossing moral lines that Lyla never would." Diggle said.

"Oh, how hypocritical of you. Didn't you judge your wife with your moral high ground, when she was working with her boss to recruit murderers, assassins and terrorists and what makes you think that life of a mass murderer is worth more than millions of innocents?"

"I…" Diggle paused, not sure what to say.

Lucifer then turned to Curtis. "Now you. Tech boy. Tell me, what do you desire the most from the world?"

"I…" Curtis then slowly circled his face, as some dazed zombie. "I… do realize I get my ass kicked but I want to work as a vigilante or something like that to help… because I keep getting my ass kicked and because I feel useless. But I'm trying to prove myself, even if I hate sitting on a chair behind a computer because that work sucks and I want to go out, even if I get knocked down, since I hate this job in A.R.G.U.S. and it suck."

"Well… perhaps you should take these complaints to your boss." Lucifer smirked at Lyla, who had her eyes narrowed at her husband and employee. "I'll see you both later. Ciao."

Lucifer walked off as Diggle and Curtis recovered from their trance and both of them slowly turned their heads to meet Lyla's gaze, and the phrase 'if looks could kill' came to mind and Diggle and Curtis gulped upon meeting her glare.

**Author's Note:**

> Well, wherever Lucifer goes, a mess follows later. I can imagine a bloody mess and a lot of shouting following wherever he goes and in this case, the shouting is going to be very painful and surely turns Laurel's office into wreck. It's up to the reader's interpretation who do you believe is going to win this fight and survive. * snickers *
> 
> And Dig and Curtis should probably clean up their desks * chuckles *
> 
> Hope you guys have enjoyed. I didn't involve Rene, since I think that that his desire is to protect Zoe and Star City, so he doesn't need to be "punished" by Lucifer.
> 
> Please review and let me know if you have enjoyed this one-shot.
> 
> With regards
> 
> Bl4ckHunter


End file.
